Lost and Found
by justareader13
Summary: In a post apocalyptical world, Steve Rogers finds reasons to press on in the form of family, friendship and love. Zombie AU (with clear 'Walking Dead' influence). Freebird with some background winter widow and stucky friendship.
1. Chapter 1

Alone. Well mostly.

That was the only way Steve knew to characterize his existence. He'd been mostly alone for the past six months. When this plague had started, the dead suddenly rising up as a ravenous bloodthirsty hoarde, he had barely managed to escaped the city of New York with his surrogate siblings Bucky and Becca Barnes along with his girlfriend Peggy. They managed to get to Connecticut before things got really bad in the city. They traveled across the states to Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Maryland to supposed government safehouses only to find the cities they went to overrun. They stopped trying and just traveled together until after a year they happened upon a group. They were with them for three months but the place was raided by some escaped prisoners and Peggy and Steve got separated from Bucky and Becca. The way things went down they had to assume the others died. Peggy and Steve were together for a while. They did well enough, they watched each other's backs plus they were both soldiers so they knew how to survive the wild and kill zombies without shooting a gun. Then Peggy had gotten pregnant.

The decision to keep the baby was a selfish but mutual one. Once that decision was made they decided they needed to find a group and they had. It was nice, the people friendly and accepting, the place they stayed was secure and fenced off. Peggy had the baby, a blonde beauty with Peggy's eyes who they named Shannon Jamie Rogers after Peggy's niece and Bucky. They had stayed there five months when things went to hell. A sickness started spreading killing off most the group and turning them. Steve had been sick a lot as a kid but instead of his immune system getting weaker from it got super strong. He never got sick again. Shannon must've gained that immune system because she was fine too. Peggy wasn't. Steve knew she'd never want to be that way, a mindless beast, so he did what he had to do. A few quick stabs through the brain and she was gone. At the end of it all only he and Shannon survived.

It was now approximately ten months later give or take two weeks. He wasn't sure but he started counting some days after they left the latest group, he wanted Shannon to know her age. They stuck to the forest and higher ground, avoided zombies where they could and didn't make unnecessary noise. Shannon started sleeping through the night at the last safe house and she had a strict eating schedule she had acclimated to. By some stroke of luck he had found a Gerber food truck that wasn't raided and it was near a stream and so he stayed there. He could care for Shannon and he had some months worth of rations with him. The truck was high enough that the undead didn't see him but there weren't many around that area anyway.

He was currently about to go to the PetSmart that he noticed a ways from the truck to get Shannon diapers before they ran out when he heard the engines. It was the first human interaction he'd have besides his infant daughter in months so he stopped and turned. A car and a motorcycle were approaching. Briefly he wondered how he must look: unshaven, unkempt and dirty with a baby strapped to his back. Then again in a post apocalyptic world appearances didn't really matter. Both vehicles stopped upon reaching him. He could just make out two silhouettes in the car but they didn't get out and were too far away to make out. The man on the motorcycle turned it off and got up before walking a few feet closer to Steve.

"Hello." He greeted in a European accent.

_British,_ Steve thought. _Just like Peggy._

"Hi." Steve answered studying him. He was tall, even taller than Steve, with longer and lighter blonde hair and more brawn to boot. If it came to a fight it'd be a struggle.

"My name is Thor, it's a pleasure to meet you." Steve nodded but didn't give his name.

"Are you alone?" He asked. Steve nodded again.

"Just me and my daughter."

"How many walkers have you killed?" Steve raised an eyebrow at the term 'walkers'. People sometimes called them names other than 'zombie'. Peggy called them 'skin eaters' despite the inaccuracy, Bucky simply called them 'the other guys' but Steve answered anyway.

"Enough. I don't really keep count."

"How many people have you killed?"

"Well I was a soldier before so I did what I had to do to survive but since everything changed, three." Steve replied, his mind flashing back to the prisoner's raid. A few of them had attacked Peggy.

"Why?"

"They were trying to rape my girlfriend." Thor studied him for a moment.

"Do you want to come with us?" Steve didn't answer at first. He'd been through this twice. He didn't know if he wanted to do it again. The same thing happened: the people who took him in, the ones he befriends and begins to trust and love end up dead while Steve survives. It's not a particularly happy trend to set in life but there was safety in numbers and he had Shannon to think about. Before he could answer, the passenger door to the car opened and his eyes nearly bulged out of his head at the new entrance to the conversation.

"Steve?" The figure asked questioningly.

"Bucky?" He asked with disbelief. Bucky smiled largely at him before running over pulling a stunned Steve into his arms.

"I thought you were dead." Steve replied almost numbly, wrapping his arms around his long lost friend.

"I thought you were too." Bucky replied.

"I didn't even recognize you at first. Your face is losing the battle, my friend." He said jokingly, pulling back and running his fingers across the beard Steve was sporting. Steve chuckled while Bucky continued grinning at him before kissing Steve's cheek and pulling away from him completely. His attention was grabbed by the infant strapped to Steve's back when she began babbling nonsensical words.

"Whose the kid?" He asked, tickling her cheek a bit prompting a small giggle.

"Her name's Shannon."

"Yours and Peggy's." Bucky assumed rather than questioned. He could pick out features she had gotten from both her parents. Steve nodded in response nonetheless.

"And Peggy? Is she..."

"Gone. She's gone. Becca?"

"Back at camp. She'll be thrilled to see you. I know I am." Steve smiled again. That was more than he smiled in the last month.

"You don't know how happy I am to see you." Steve told him, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"I think I can hazard a guess." He replied, smiling and pulling Steve (and Shannon) into another hug before he pulled away, turned and waved the car driver over. The woman stepped out of the car and walked over to them. Bucky slung his arm around the woman's shoulders casually as if he did it all the time.

"You already met Thor." The man nodded at him again but looked at him with a different glint in his eyes. Steve thought he could spot envy and grief in his eyes. He turned back to the woman who Bucky was going to introduce.

"This is Natasha, my girlfriend." She was a beautiful woman. Average height, a voluptuous but sturdy build with fiery red hair and piercing green eyes which studied Steve like he was a specimen under a microscope that she'd burn alive, forgoing any observation completely. Bucky seemed to noticed the stare down and pressed a sound kiss to the woman's cheek which prompted her to break her glare from Steve and turn it on him.

"Don't mind her. I swear she was a spy or something before. Always so damn suspicious. Deep down she's a softie." Her glare only intensified.

"Way deep down past the cobwebs and dust. There's a heart in there, I know there is." He continued teasingly which caused her to elbow him. He just laughed at the jab.

Bucky said something to her in Russian. Steve didn't know what it was, the only thing he got from the exchange was his name but whatever it was when she looked back at him she wasn't glaring anymore.

"Hmm. James has told me a lot about you, Steve." He was a little surprised at the use of James. Nobody who knew Bucky called him James.

"Wish I could say the same, Miss."

"Natasha will do. We need to get back." She replied curtly, directing the last statement to Bucky and Thor.

"Of course, let's go and welcome to the group Steve." Steve nodded to Thor and followed after Bucky and Natasha to the car while removing Shannon from his back to cradle in his arms during the car ride. Steve went towards the back and opened the door to climb in but Natasha shut it before he could.

"Oh by the way, If you try anything I'll shoot you in the head, both times, without hesitation. Baby or no baby and James won't save you either." She opened the back door for him before climbing back into the driver's seat and slamming her door shut. He looked at Bucky to gauge her seriousness (not that he planned on trying anything) but he was just smiling.

"Way, way deep down." He reiterated before he climbed in. Steve shook his head but climbed in as well. Despite the threat this was one of those rare good days. He got his brother back, soon he'd reunite with his sister and he had Sharon. Peggy was gone but though he missed her he knew she'd conk him on the head for moping about depressed so he pressed on. Having incentive helped and now he had that threefold.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: For those of you who don't know, Becca Barnes is Bucky's little sister in the comics. I picture her as Melissa Benoist**

Pulling up to his new home, Steve stared out the window with a mixture of shock, awe and admiration. They set up base at an old military fort. The place looked sturdy and strong. The fences looked newer than the rest of the place and before he could question anything, Bucky began giving him the run down.

"This place was built during World War Two. Whole place is made out of fortified concrete. We redid the fences ourselves. They were wrought iron before but Tony, our resident genius and engineer, had better metal with him. Vibranium or something like that, right Tasha? Anyway, they're much stronger. Doesn't matter how much walkers pile up against it, it isn't going anywhere. There's officially eight buildings on the property. Four is for housing people, one is for the animal, one's is the armory and storage place, one's a garage, the other's a library and soon will be a theater too. We've got farmers here and hunters plus we stock up and preserve so don't worry about food and drinking water. There's a reserve of water underground we siphon into camp with a well system so we've got plumbing and showers. You could use one, you don't exactly smell like a flower field."

"Thanks." Steve deadpanned but didn't disagree.

"What kind of friend would I be if I didn't tell you the truth? I'm sure the little lady would love one too." The car stopped inside a building where there was four other cars, a greenish-gray bus and two motorcycles inside and a car outside. Thor had arrived before them. Natasha stepped out of the car without preamble or a goodbye, got some stuff from the trunk and walked towards a man with spiky dirty blonde hair. Bucky got out and shouted after her.

"You complete me!" She flipped him the bird in response before smirking at him over her shoulder and continuing on her way. He was smiling as he opened the door for Steve and Shannon.

"Your taste in women hasn't changed." Steve commented, shaking his head.

"Implying the need?"

"I don't wanna say. Natasha might have bionic hearing and I'll end up with a ninja star in my neck." Bucky laughed as he took Shannon from Steve's arms. The baby happily accepted the attention and affection he immediately began showering her with. She didn't meet new people often and it was Bucky so despite Steve's separation anxiety he didn't take Shannon back once he got their bags out of the car. Bucky didn't seem like he had plans of giving her back anytime soon anyway.

"You want me to show you to your room first or to Becca?"

"Becca." Steve said without hesitation. He wanted to be sure she was okay, he wanted to see her with his own two eyes. Bucky led him outside the building and around the corner. There were cars there too but they were on platforms like at a body shop and at the front there was a car with the hood popped open. Legs stuck out from under the car on the left side and a slim foot hung out the driver's side window. The body attached to the legs under the car made it's appearance. He had on a greasy wife beater and a welder's mask so Steve couldn't see his face. He went to the front and used a blowtorch on whatever he was working on under the hood before he hit the side of the car twice. Suddenly the ignition ignited. The car stalled for a second before roaring to life. Bucky started clapping beside him and after a while Shannon joined him.

"Say 'yay', Shannon."

"Yaaaa." Shannon said, clapping her hands.

"Close enough."

"Am I gonna get my daughter back?" Steve asked, smiling at the two.

"Nope. Go say hi to Becca before flies start swarming her mouth." Steve turned back to the car and saw Becca standing there staring at him with her mouth hung open. He nearly dropped at the sight of her. The last time he saw her she was 14, two years had passed and she had grown so much. She had gained five inches, now putting her at 5'8. Her brown hair was longer. She'd lost the lingering baby fat, making her face leaner and she was skinnier. The only thing that hadn't changed were her bright blue eyes, the same as Bucky's.

"Look whose been eating their spinach since I've been gone." Steve commented with a grin. That snapped Becca out of her stupor.

"Steve!" She exclaimed running at him and jumping into his arms while her legs wrapped around his waist. He chuckled but held her tightly back.

"I thought I'd never see you again."

"You and me both." She didn't ask about Peggy or comment on his smell, she just hugged him even tighter before finally pulling back but she stayed in his arms, her legs still around his waist.

"Oh man Big Bro, you need a shave. Your face has almost lost the battle."

"Bucky said almost the exact thing."

"Well, he has to be right at least once a month." She teased sliding down until her feet hit the ground but her arms replaced them.

_I guess she's keeping me close. I don't mind._ Steve thought.

"Hey! Offended." Bucky exclaimed.

"Okay, okay. Once a week." He glared at her while she smiled largely and Steve chuckled. It was just like old times growing up together. Steve had moved into the Barnes home when he was ten after his parents died. Bucky's parents were his godparents so they took him. Becca was born a year later. Despite the age difference the three of them were as close as siblings could be, Steve being no exception. Being with them again along with Shannon made him feel like even though the world had gone to shit he still had a home and something good to live for. Becca suddenly turned behind her and waved the mechanic over.

"Come meet my brother." Steve could hear the man clanking around behind him and turned along with Becca once he heard footsteps behind him. The man before him was tall with dark skin that glistened with sweat and car grease and smelled of motor oil. His eyes were a warm brown that stood out to Steve for some reason.

"So you're the one bringing all this excitement to my garage." He said in lieu of a greeting.

"Yeah, I guess. Sorry." Steve answered apologetically.

"No, no need to apologize. I take any form of entertainment I can in here." He replied smiling widely. His smile threw Steve. It was so bright. It was like the friggin' sun was shining out of his dimpled face. Steve mentally shook himself before he did embarrassing.

"I'm Steve Rogers."

"Yeah, I figured. I'm Sam Wilson. Becca talks about you so much, I feel like already know you. I don't think it's normal to know a person's favorite movie, color and animal before you meet them. Or the fact that they tripped down the stairs and broke their arm when they thirteen because their crush walked by."

"Becca!" Steve exclaimed, having to try hard not to turn red because he was a full body blusher as Bucky started laughing behind him.

"I remember that. Hilarious." He commented between chuckles.

"Sorry Steve. The stories kind of got away from after awhile." Becca said apologetically, removing herself from Steve's side and going over to Shannon who she had been eyeing critically for the last few seconds.

"Don't worry. I'm sure we'll get to know each other well enough. Knowing me, you'll have embarrassing dirt on me in no time." Sam said in appeasement as Bucky and Becca began moving out of earshot while fighting over Shannon.

"That is if you're staying." Sam continued.

"Even if I wanted to leave I don't think those two would give me my daughter back." Steve replied smirking as he heard Bucky exclaim in pain, Becca hum in satisfaction and Shannon begin giggling.

"Cute kid, looks like her father."

"Are you calling me cute?"

"I'm sure under the bush you call a beard there's probably a half way decent looking guy under there." Steve scoffed and laughed while Sam smiled that mega watt smile at him again.

"Hey Steve, come on and we'll show you to a room and a shower." Becca called after him. He turned around briefly and saw Bucky standing with his arms folded across his chest pouting while Becca cooed over Shannon. He shook his head before turning back to Sam.

"I guess I'll see you around, Sam."

"Well you'll find me here most days. Welcome to Shield, Steve."

"Shield?"

"It's what we call this place."

"Thanks again." Steve smiled at him before turning and following Becca, grabbing Bucky while he past the still sulking man. It wasn't until he turned the corner he realized he was flirting with Sam and he had enjoyed it, however brief it was.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I mention characters who are in the Marvel universe but not part of the Avengers franchise/verse.**

Steve sat on a parapet of the army base with a rifle set up before him looking out at the forest beyond the vibranium fences where a few zombies were hanging on, trying at a futile attempt to break through. They went largely ignored, they were no threat and there was no need to waste bullets. It had been one month since he arrived at Shield and in that month his life had taken a decided turn for the better.

It wasn't just that he didn't have to worry about food and water or that he and Shannon were living much more comfortably, what's more was they were living happily. Shannon was definitely happier being around other people as well as children and babies. Bucky and Becca showered her with affection, attention and gifts which she lapped up. Steve had made friends with people in the camp as well. He had had a brief squabble with the genuis, former billionaire, playboy and philanthropist Tony Stark. His arrogance had rubbed Steve the wrong way and his flippance towards soldiers and their sacrifice had angered him but ultimately they'd buried the hatchet. Plus, Tony mellowed out more when they had found some weirdly named friends of his. Then again he had a friend named Bucky so he wouldn't judge Happy, Rhodey and Pepper's names. They were nice people, they balanced Tony's large personality well.

He had gotten pretty close to Thor. The guy was big, he liked a good fight and he was all around a pretty jolly guy. He maybe took a bit too much pleasure in killing zombies but then Steve discovered that was because his brother, Loki, was turned into one and had ended up killing their parents. Thor had had to kill him after that. It explained the sadness and envy Steve saw in his eyes when Thor saw him, Bucky and Becca together or Tony and Rhodey together or Clint and Natasha. He felt bad because he understood the burden of having to put someone you love down. It broke something inside, tore some untouched innocent part of you to shreds.

Steve had also surprisingly gotten close to Natasha. Bucky was right, inside she was a softie. She taught the children how to defend themselves alongside Maria Hill and Ororo Munroe. All the children loved her and Shannon had taken a particular shine to "Tash" as the baby called her. Once Steve had met Nick Fury, Charles Xavier and Erik Lensher, the three leaders of Shield, and gotten their stamp of approval Natasha was more open to tolerating him. Turns out Nick Fury was her adopted father and had told her to be nicer. Her brother, Clint, had warmed up to Steve too and after a couple more talks from Bucky and Becca and Steve saving her life a number of times when they got stuck in the city during a supply run, she had finally taken him off her shitlist and they had grown close fast much to Bucky's delight and smugness, though neither knew what he was so smug about.

Then there was Sam. Steve had only really seen him in passing, that man could be friggin' elusive. He went to the garage twice over the last month but he wasn't there. He hadn't gotten to have a conversation with him again but their brief encounter had left an imprint on Steve's mind. He hadn't remembered feeling that light in a while at that point.

Steve stroked his bare chin, a habit he picked up from having a now nonexistent beard, and looked down as someone whistled. Logan stood down there ready to take over watch for him. He could see Peter Parker climbing up the other parapet with Gwen Stacy by his side. The blonde slipped down the parapet, wordlessly handed the rifle he had to the rough man and then walked away while giving Peter and Gwen a wave. He didn't know what to do but he felt keyed up and restless. Shannon was probably still asleep and she was with Bucky and Natasha anyway. Steve turned and saw the new track that had been installed. It actually looked good. Between Charles' architecture skills, Tony's secret stash of materials and manual labor from the residents of the camp it looked almost professionally done. Shield was fairly large and Charles, Erik and Fury were trying to make it more of a home than a safehouse. They had essentials: food and water. They had what was considered luxuries in this new world: plumbing, showers, electricity from both back-up generators Tony fixed and solar panels Tony, Bruce Banner and Reed Richards installed and they had working vehicles that Sam made sure kept running. Now they were adding leisure activities. They had installed a library that was slowly growing with each supply run and a system for checking out books. There were televisions and though there wasn't network television, they had acquired DVD and VHS players. There was a Best Buy in town and some smaller video stores that was raided regularly. There was even movie night once a week. They had radios and record players along with CDs and vinyls for music. There was a grass field in the middle of the track and basketball hoops on the other side of the track fence along with a tennis courts and a volleyball net.

Steve decided to make use of the entertainment and took off his jacket, feeling the cool breeze make the hair on his arms stand on end. He stretched before he began running along the track, letting the wind hitting his face block out his thoughts. It wasn't until he had almost made a full lap he realized Sam was running too. He smirked a bit as he passed him.

"On your left." He said as he passed. That went on for five laps (for Sam anyway), each time Steve passed him he'd say 'on your left' and his smirk grew wider as Sam got more and more frustrated every time until he made a final effort to chase after Steve. He failed of course but it was a valiant effort. Steve found Sam nearly passed out on the grass field, leaning against a tree.

"Should I go get Dr. Grey?" Steve said teasingly as he stopped next to him.

"If you do, tell Jean I need a new lung. Were you a damn track star before or something?" Sam asked grudgingly.

"Not really, no. Just always been a fast runner."

"Pretty sure you could give Usain Bolt a run for his money. If he isn't dead that is." Sam reached out a hand and Steve helped him stand up, ignoring the jolt of warmth Sam's hand in his caused. When Steve looked up Sam was staring at his face smiling.

"What? Do I have something on my face?"

"Just realized I was right is all. You do look half way decent without the homeless man beard, maybe even more than halfway. I might even venture to call you cute." Steve felt himself warming up at the compliment. Sam started laughing causing Steve to turn redder.

"So that's why. Bucky told me next time I talk to you I should say something to embarrass you. Said I'd be pleasantly surprised at the results."

_Stupid Bucky. I'm going to kill him._

"Some days I wonder what it was I missed about him." Steve grumbled as his body temperature began returning to normal.

"His sparkling personality proceeds itself."

"You can say that again."

"So, how are you liking Shield so far?"

"Well it's a lot better than living on the top of a Gerber truck, I'll give you that." Steve said jokingly as he and Sam began walking around the track to cool down.

"Trust me, I know. I took refuge in the back of a Mac truck for longer than I'd like to admit to. Bucky and Becca would pass me on their runs. The first couple times they would ask me to join them here at Shield. After I'd refused about four times they started bringing supplies and rations for me. Then they started coming just to visit. Couldn't get rid of them, I didn't really want to."

"I know the feeling."

"One day, I just asked if the offer was still open and that's how I ended up here."

"Why'd you stay in the truck?"

"My boyfriend, Riley, he was bitten. I watched the fever burn him out until there was nothing of him left. I should've put him down. I wasn't strong enough. I stayed there because I kept hoping he'd wander back my way."

"Then what would you do?" Steve felt compelled to ask.

"Shot him. Let him bite me then turn. Tie him up until I decided what to do. I have no idea. All I know is Bucky and Becca saved me. But I would've been better off if I put a bullet in his head to begin with."

"Don't be so sure. I had to put down my girlfriend, Peggy, a while ago. It's different when you don't know what... who the thing you're killing used to be. When you loved that person, when you envisioned a life with them, when you survive war and hell with them and you have a kid with them it's just different. It... breaks something. That's why I stayed on that Gerber truck. I couldn't move. I was stuck and I kept Shannon stuck with me. If Bucky hadn't been with Thor I don't know if I would've moved even though it was best for my daughter. I just-"

"No, I get it. I was a pilot in the army. Riley was my wingman, he was my partner in more ways than one. We survived Afghanistan together but we couldn't survive this together. It's... a hollow feeling, a dull sort of ache but you keep going because they'd kick your ass if you didn't." Sam said, chuckling nostalgically. Steve looked at Sam and didn't notice he was staring until Sam said something.

"Sorry it's just. Bucky, Peggy and I were in the same troop in Iraq. When I thought they were both dead and I had survived I just... you really do understand. No one else really does. Bucky tries but he hasn't been faced with the decision of putting down someone close to you."

"Well, you can come talk to me whenever you want. Let's see how many times a conversation I can make you blush without you passing out." And of course Steve just had to go into another full body blush after the comment prompting Sam to laugh.

"I'm going to have so much fun."


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Natalia and Natasha are two different people in this.**

'_**I'm going to have so much fun.'**_

That's what Sam had said to him nearly a month ago and that's what they had done. They saw each other pretty much every day after that. He and Steve would run together in the morning and Steve would visit him in the garage in the evening before bed. Sam joined Steve, Bucky, Shannon, Becca, Natasha and Clint at their table during lunch. They took watches together and went out on supply runs together, Sam had even spent time with just Steve and Shannon in Steve's room. Shannon liked Sam very much and he was added to the list of people she had begun to cling to. Steve thought this was both good and bad, good because Shannon had more people to love and interact with now, bad because in this world no one knew if they'd be dead the next day and Steve didn't want someone to be ripped viciously from Shannon's life. Steve looked over to the playpen in the corner of his room as Shannon began calling out to him. The playpen was something Sam had brought back from a run he went on without Steve. He had said he had found it packaged in a room, Steve doubted the truth of that though he didn't push it.

"Hey, sweetheart." Steve cooed, picking her up out of the playpen only for her to immediately cuddle into his shoulder. He smiled at the warmth of her tiny body pressing to his. He had previously been very awkward with babies. He didn't know how to hold them and he feared he'd break them if he held them too hard or something but with Shannon it seemed like instinct took over and he just did what he had to do to make sure she survived and was as happy as she could be. He wished he had Peggy with him but then if he had Peggy would he have met Sam? Not that anything had happened between them... yet anyway.

"You like Sam, right? What do you think, huh Shan? Is Daddy completely over thinking this?"

"Yes, he is." Bucky said, walking into Steve's room as if he owned the place.

"Knocking. It's not a new concept, you might wanna familiarize yourself with it." Steve said sarcastically.

"Don't change the subject. Sad, desperate times you're in when you ask your one year old for dating advice." Bucky said plopping onto the bed.

"I'm not dating anyone." Steve answered, turning around from Bucky and going over to the small table where there was a highchair, another gift from Sam, and a bowl of applesauce for Shannon.

"You and Sam are totally dating."

"We are not."

"You are too and if you're not you should be and the only reason you're not would be because you are definitely over thinking things." Steve didn't answer. Bucky sighed.

"Look, I've got exactly five minutes before I have to meet Natasha and her dad so let me use two of those minutes to impart some wisdom on you."

"And what wisdom would that be, oh great one?" Steve asked sarcastically.

"Stop using Peggy and Shannon as an excuse to not take your relationship with Sam to the next level." Steve whipped around angrily towards his brother.

"I am not-"

"You keep telling yourself you owe it to Shannon to preserve her mother's memory and that you owe it to Peggy not to move on so quickly. Honestly, I think that if Peggy were with you, you two and Sam would be some freaky threesome."

"Really Bucky?" Steve deadpanned.

"It's what I think. Seriously though, there's nothing wrong with falling in love again."

"How would you know, Bucky? You spent your life as a manwhore before everything went to sh-" Steve stopped himself from cursing and looked back at Shannon obliviously eating her applesauce before abruptly turning back around to face Bucky.

"Before everything happened. You had a new love of your life every three days, you didn't know how to settle. You didn't know what you wanted. You didn't like yourself enough to like anyone else for more than a week. You don't know how it felt to be with Peggy and then to lose her and then, and then-"

"And then to have someone else make you feel the same things again is terrifying because you lost the person you wanted to ride hell out with. You don't want to put yourself in that position again, what's more it's not just you you have to think about. That makes it doubly terrifying and all the while you're wondering what the person you lost would think of your decision to move on." Bucky finished. Steve looked at Bucky with clear confusion as to how he would understand Steve's feelings.

"Two months ago we hadn't seen each other in two years, Steve. A lot happened. Her name was Natalia. She kicked my ass the first time we met and of course Becca fell for her instantly and she started travelling with us. Long story short: we fell in love, she died, I took it hard and Becca did too. So when we came here and I started having feelings for Natasha I wasn't pleased to say the least. I didn't want to deal with it again, didn't want to open myself up again even though I didn't want to reinstate my life as a 'manwhore' as you harshly but accurately put it. I told myself it was because I didn't want to put Becca through that again and that was true but mostly I was friggin' terrified of losing someone again. At that point, I thought I'd lost you and Peggy and then I lost Natalia, I wanted to protect the one thing I could control: my heart." Bucky chuckled nostalgically.

"Truthfully, Natasha made it damn easy to push her away. She was running away from a second chance too. Eventually we got tired of fighting against it when we really weren't certain how long any of us were going to live. Why waste the opportunity to have something pure and light in a world filled with so much darkness?" Bucky stood up and placed his hand on Steve's shoulder as Steve felt his eyes stinging.

"You could love him Steve. I know the problem isn't that he's a guy, you've been openly bisexual for ages. I know the problem isn't so much that you think Peggy wouldn't approve, it's that wall you put around your heart. It's flimsy at best but you keep trying to reinforce it. Let it down, let him in and you won't regret it. Trust me, when have I ever led you astray? Actually don't answer that question." Steve chuckled a little before sighing.

"I have to go, Steve-O. Do something reckless and crazy and don't think about it, okay? But make sure it's worth it. Now I've gotta go before Natasha castrates me for being late." Bucky patted Steve's shoulder and gave Shannon a kiss before he ducked out the room, leaving Steve to his thoughts.


	5. Chapter 5

Steve moved through the dark halls of the building he lived in as silently as he could while passing the rooms of other sleeping residents. It was hours after Bucky's impromptu visit and he had mostly distracted himself with Shannon until she had fallen asleep. He had then been left to his thoughts and unfortunately Bucky's advise started spinning fantasies in his brain. Fantasies involving himself and Sam and a lack of clothing for both men. Sam was hot, there was no way for Steve to deny that. The guy was hilarious and caring and understanding and he had the cutest gap between his front teeth and he loved soccer and he had dreamed of backpacking through Europe before everything got fucked up and his smile was like staring into the sun and he had a friggin' awesome singing voice and he could play the guitar and the cello and speak three different languages and he loved chocolate but not mixed with peanuts and he thought the word 'wednesday' was weird and and _and_... so maybe Steve wasn't falling in love with him, maybe he was already there. It didn't matter, it was too fast. He'd only known him for two months. Then again he knew he was in love with Peggy after a week of knowing her but still Steve couldn't let himself go there but... maybe he could. Maybe he should take a chance or maybe he should bash his head against a wall and pass out, then crawl back to his room after he woke up.

But here he was on his way to Sam Wilson's room after getting Darcy to stay with Shannon.

_This is a bad idea. It's a very bad idea. Or it's not. Who the hell even knows anymore. Not me that's for sure._

All too soon, sooner than he was hoping for he was at Sam's door.

"Great, now what?" Steve mumbled to himself.

_Knock, idiot._ A voice in his head sounding suspiciously like Bucky answered.

_What if this ends badly?_

_What do you have to lose?_

_We live together it'd be awkward._

_Stop making excuses._

_Damn it, I'm arguing with a voice in my head._

_Stop being such a coward then and knock._

Steve shook himself, took a deep breath and raised his hand to knock. He knocked before he could change his mind. He felt his heart pounding in his chest as he waited for Sam to answer. Warning bells were going off in her head and his heart but his feet stay planted where they were.

_Didn't asthma feel like this?_ Steve thought as the door opened.

"Steve!" Sam said happily in a subdued voice so as not to disturb the other people in the rooms closest to him who were sleeping or trying to.

"I was just thinking of you. I was about to go by your room and wish you and Shannon a good night. You must've read my mind, Captain Rogers. There's another point in your favor: you've got a cute ass daughter, you're decent to look at and you're a mind reader. What are you doing here anyway? Did something-" Steve couldn't take it anymore. Sam wasn't one to ramble but Steve was standing there staring at him, not saying a word so Sam kept talking. That is until Steve stopped him in a way that surprised them both.

It took Steve a few moments to register what he was doing. Sam was talking and smiling that damn smile and Steve felt something give way inside of him. Before he could think about it he felt his hands shoot out and grab Sam by his shirt before his lips collided with Sam's.

_Oh my God, I'm kissing him. And he... is not kissing back._ Steve pulled away once that thought hit and stared at Sam who stared back at Steve as his skin started to warm up, gearing for a full body blush.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that. I mean I do but I shouldn't have... I mean I should've... I'm just going to go." Steve turned to walk away and he could feel his heart starting to crack as he walked away.

_Bucky was wrong. This was stupid. This was a stupid, stupid idea._

Steve hadn't gotten more than three feet away when he felt a hand grab his shoulder, push him into the wall and then lips were pressed urgently against his. He gasped at the suddenness of it then moaned as Sam's tongue started exploring his mouth. Steve's tongue searched out Sam's as he pressed their lips more firmly together. His hands gripped Sam's shoulders while the other man's hands tangled into his blonde locks and twisted Steve's head to a different angle so their tongues delved even deeper into each other's mouth.

Sam pulled away and stared straight into Steve's eyes. Steve didn't say anything, neither did Sam. His hands were still in Steve's hair and he wordlessly pulled Steve's face closer to his without breaking eye contact with him. He pressed a chaste kiss to Steve's lips, earning himself a contented sigh. He pressed a second kiss to his lips just as light as the first one. He bestowed another on the corner of Steve's mouth then his cheek before moving to his neck. Steve sighed, leaned his head back and closed his eyes as Sam began sucking the skin over his pulse. He could feel the sensation of Sam's mouth on his skin shooting liquid heat to his groin. He gripped Sam's shoulders even tighter and swallowed a too loud groan as the other man pressed himself closer and he could feel their hard lengths pressed up against each other.

"Sam..." Steve sighed breathlessly with more want and desire dripping from the word than Steve thought himself capable of.

"Bedroom." Sam stated more than questioned, his breath giving Steve goosebumps. Steve nodded all the same. One of Sam's hands moved from Steve's hair to his waist and he then began guiding him to his bedroom while his mouth latched back on to Steve's skin. As they made their way in and Sam pressed him against the closed door before their lips came together again he had to admit to himself, maybe this wasn't Bucky's dumbest idea.


	6. Chapter 6

Steve watched Sam as he slept. The sun was peeking through the window and just a sliver of it's rays was dashed across Sam's mocha colored skin. Last night had been a lot more than Steve expected to happen. The feeling of Sam on top of him, kissing him, grinding against him, tasting him, feeling him moving inside of him had almost been enough to completely shatter him in a good way. They had been very enthusiastic about their love making and he felt sore in places he hadn't in a long time but it was a good soreness, born out of complete and total pleasure.

Steve was happy that he took Bucky's advice and did something that was worth it and didn't think about it but now he was a little afraid of what would happen when Sam woke up. They hadn't talked much. Sam obviously shared his desire but he didn't know about the deeper feelings. Steve didn't just want this to be sex but he also wasn't ready to reveal the depth of his feelings for Sam. In his ecstasy induced haze, he'd nearly admitted it out loud a few times last night but had managed to catch himself. He still felt it was too soon for him to admit that, he needed time for himself to stew in the knowledge and decide exactly how he felt about it in regards to Peggy but despite that he wanted to be with Sam. It scared him but he did.

Sam's arm stretched out and locked around Steve's waist, pulling their bodies close until they were cuddling with Sam's head resting on Steve's chest and his arms in vice grip around his waist. Steve chuckled. He'd learned fairly quickly Sam was an affectionate sleeper. Hell, he was affectionate period, sleep did nothing to stop it. Steve shook his head as Sam nuzzled himself even deeper into Steve's chest but he didn't protest, he just wrapped his arms around Sam's shoulders, kissed his head, closed his eyes and let sleep take him again.

The next time he woke up Sam was no longer in his arms but he could feel him staring at him.

"I know you said I was a little more than half decent-looking but the staring is creepy."

"It's not creepy, it's romantic."

"Someone lied to you, watching someone sleep is very creepy."

"Then why were you doing it this morning?" Sam challenged. Steve opened his eyes and looked over at Sam who had his elbow propped against the pillow and his head resting in his hand as he smiled Steve's favorite smile.

"I lived on top of a Gerber truck. I grew up with Bucky for christ sakes. Watching you sleep? Not the most creepy thing I've done."

"Was that supposed to reassure me?" Sam asked with amusement.

"That came out wrong." Steve answered, going into full body blush mode. Sam started laughing again but instead of feeling embarrassed Steve joined in the laughter. It was a light feeling, laying in bed naked with Sam laughing about inside jokes after a night of amazing sex. It held an air of normalcy and home that both scared Steve and left him wanting more.

Finally they stopped laughing and stared at each other with small smiles on both their faces. Before Steve could launch into a speech or ask questions or whatever he would do next (truthfully not even he knew) Sam leaned down and kissed Steve. Steve closed his eyes and responded immediately, his hand reaching up and holding onto the back of Sam's head while he caressed his cheek. The kiss was languid and lingering, slow and heady and enough to turn Steve's blood red hot and send it shooting downwards. Sam pulled away and pressed his forehead to Steve's.

"Not a one time thing. It isn't just about sex for me. I want to be with you. I know my feelings for you go deeper than I'm ready to admit for multiple reasons including Riley but I don't want to jeopardize any future we have, whether it's together or separate. I'll be here with both you and Shannon if you want me to."

Steve stared at him in confusion and awe then suspicion as Sam answered all of the questions that had been banging around his brain lately.

"Natasha had a talk with me last night." Sam admitted.

"And Bucky had a talk with me." Steve added, shaking his head.

"Think the Russian twinsassins were in cohoots?"

"I know they were. I'm not mad though because we're here, together and that's what I want. For all the fear I feel I do want to be with you. I want to be happy with you and Shannon and my family." Steve admitted, Sam smiled at him and this time Steve kissed him and Sam kissed him back. He wasn't worried about the future anymore, they'd take this thing a step at a time and that was okay. In a world with zombies it was a miracle Steve had found his family again, a miracle he had his daughter, a miracle he had Sam and he didn't plan to waste this miracle.


End file.
